Humanist Wedding Vows | Our Complete Guide

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Extravagant weddings were a thing until the global pandemic shook the world. People realised that they could still get married without having a grand wedding. Youth today is not fond of spending extra money on a wedding. They prefer spending it on vacations and travelling. As a result, humanist weddings have come into fashion a lot more. Humanist weddings are centred on the belief in simple weddings. Let’s get to the depth of what separates humanist weddings from traditional ones.

Humanist Wedding Vows

You may have been to a humanist wedding where the couple emotionally reads some words to each other. If not, there are countless wholesome videos that have taken over the internet.  Everyone is trying to outdo themselves to make these weddings unforgettable. They are comprised of beautiful decors, breathtaking dresses, and sweet vows. What are those humanist wedding vows, and why do they elicit such strong emotions? This piece will describe how they differ from traditional wedding vows. It will also educate people on how to write them.

What is a Wedding Vow?

A wedding vow declares two people’s mutual dedication, love, and commitment. The couple promises to devote, love, and dedicate themselves to one another. The vows are recited in front of the wedding guests since they are the witnesses to these promises. In typical marriages, the bride and groom say the vows after the officiant’s readings. Afterward, the couple exchanges rings as a gesture of committment. It symbolises the pronunciation of the marriage, and the couple kisses each other.

What Is the Difference Between a Speech and a Vow?

Wedding speeches are significant if one goes by the traditions. The wedding speech is an address dedicated to the two loving souls finally uniting. The people who know either the groom or bride take up the stage. They propose a toast to any or both of them. Who gives these speeches depends upon the family dynamics and relationships. They are typically delivered by the bride’s parents, followed by the groom’s. The maid of honour then makes a toast. And afterward, it is the best man’s turn. However, it is up to a couple to decide who should give this speech.

Where the speeches are the emotional statements the guests say, the couple says the vows. After all, it is the day that the couple is getting married. Therefore, these vows are also focused by both the groom and bride towards each other. Where they appreciate each other’s love and promise to keep this love blossoming.

Why Do We Say Vows at Weddings?

The manuals of the medieval church include the earliest known examples of customary wedding vows. There were manuals from the York and Salisbury (Sarum) dioceses in England. These manuals are the base of the traditional wedding vows.

What comes out of one’s lips lasts forever. The couple exchanges vows in the limelight as moral and legal support for each other. When two adults choose to marry, they are vowing to stay at each other’s side until death. The vows serve as a reminder of a couple of their responsibilities to one another. They agree to be by each other’s side in good times, bad times, health, and sickness.

The marital bond must stay strong through all financial stages. Vows are essential in laying the groundwork for any marriage. They also symbolise how the couple should handle difficult times in their marriage. They both have to stand together and fight against the problems with unity.

Marriages naturally result in children. Vows contribute to keeping a marriage healthy. They ensure that a couple raises their children in a loving and stable atmosphere. God desires that couples with children stay together and sort out their issues. This is for the sake of the children suffering the most because of broken marriages. They suffer moral and mental distress if they live in a broken household. On the other hand, children who grow up in a well-connected home will have excellent mental health.

Differences Between Humanist Wedding Vows and Other Wedding Vows

The global wedding industry is shrinking due to simple and intimate marriage gatherings. Humanist weddings lack the religious component other marriages have. However, they are significant for the people engaged in a new relationship. In contrast to the religious vows, the humanist wedding vows emphasise equal marriage. They are weaved around two people’s affection for one another. And they are upfront about it. These vows can be romantic, emotional, sincere, or hilarious and humorous. They use straightforward language, yet all their words are from the heart.

On the other hand, traditional wedding vows are religious. They were ringed around the bride’s commitment of submission to the husband. She commits to bearing his children and caring for them. They include the phrase “until death does us part.” It suggests that a person can not walk out of the marriage. The couple promises to stay together till their final day.

How to Write Wedding Vows?

Wedding vows should be heartfelt. However, it might be challenging to put into words how you feel about your partner. So, here is a simple guide to making drafting vows easier.

How to Start Wedding Vows?

It would be a nice gesture if the couple began their vows by reflecting on their relationship. You may share the wonderful memories they created with the person in front of you right now.

How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?

Wedding vows should be short and sweet. They should be no longer than 3 minutes. Because you must keep track of the time. You can recite the lengthier vows privately. Another option is penning letters to each other to read.

What Is the Best to Include in Your Humanist Wedding Vows?

There are no hard and fast rules on what a humanist wedding vow should include. A person can share the good qualities of their partner. You can explain the reason they love them. Finally, a few promises are necessary parts of a vow, so they must be included. Tell about them to your partner and tell them what you expect from them.

How to Personalise Your Humanist Wedding Vows?

These vows can include everything from book excerpts to song lyrics to jokes. You may use humour in your vows to make them more personal. You can share a hilarious story that made you fall in love with your partner. Some song lyrics are so relevant to a couple’s story that they can also be included. Including movie quotations or poetry will assist in personalising your humanist wedding vows.

Examples of Humanist Wedding Vows

Below are some examples of memorable humanist wedding vows for your wedding.

  • Example 1 (for bride)

“I knew my life was going to change the moment I met you. I knew I’d found my next partner from the very first day. But never did I imagine I’d find my future husband. Before I met you, I used to write in my prayer journals every day about how I imagined my future spouse to be. I had no idea God would provide me with someone greater than I could’ve imagined. The more I got to know you, the more I realised you were too wonderful to be true. ” You can continue after the pause with,

“I’ll respect and adore you no matter what life throws at us. I promise to adore, respect, and appreciate you for who you are. Just like you do for me, I promise to encourage and challenge you to be your best self every day. I want to explore the world with you and share new experiences. Not only will be your best friend, but also your biggest cheerleader in life. I promise to look after you and love you through thick and thin. I’ll always adore you.”

  • Example 2 (for the groom)

“First and foremost, I’d like to thank you for agreeing to marry me. The very thought of you fills me with joy and excitement. I’ve been waiting for this day since the first time I met you. Today is the day we begin our lives together. It is the day I’ve dreamed of since I was a teenager. I can’t see my life without you. You are my peace, the one who keeps me laughing and happy.” After a slight pause, you can resume with

“I am excited to share my dreams with you. On this day, I swear to stay by your side for the rest of your life. Even if your hair greys and your face wrinkles, I will still love you. I cannot guarantee that life with me will be without ups and downs. But I promise I’ll be there to hold your hand through it all. And, as always, we will pass all those times with flying colours.”

  • Example 3 (for either bride or groom)

“Thank you for agreeing to marry me despite all my flaws. I will continue to love you as you are and as you grow into the person you will become. All my time and efforts will be to understanding your desires, worries, and dreams. I will lay it all out to make you happy. I will be there for you anytime you need me. And I will support you in both good and bad times. And I intend to keep our lives lively, adventurous, and passionate. I can’t wait to embark on this new and exciting adventure with the person I love the most.”

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